That's The Spirit

Alright, so this piece means a lot to me. (feel free to skip the long ass explanation/rant)

The last 4 months of my life have been the worst months I’ve ever lived through. Trying to juggle two schools (6 days a week) and studying for my State Examinations in June, worrying about homework, smaller exams and assignments while dealing with the pain of a death in my family and a hopelessly broken heart that just won’t heal.

School right now is hell, 9 classes Monday to Friday, 5 classes on Saturday. Homework from each of those classes, often due the very next day. A big art project with many complicated parts. 2.5 hours of homework plus studying on top of that every day. Pressure to do good in Christmas exams, State Exam mocks and the real deal in June.

The very last day of November my family got a massive shock when my grandfather died unexpectedly. Unsaid goodbyes and knowing that the house in Poland will never be quite the same really took its toll on me. And travelling to Poland for a week to attend a funeral wasn’t exactly fun either. I don’t think I’ve ever cried quite as hard.

A month before that, my heart was shattered into a million pieces by someone I never thought would hurt me. Still is. And it will be for quite a while. Broken promises that will never be fulfilled haunt me each night, as well as the loneliness I feel from having suddenly lost someone who was so close to me. It especially hurts knowing that they don’t want anything to do with me now - or at least that’s the vibe I was getting. So having to forget and move on after empty promises of friendship hurts. A lot.

The only motivation I have for getting up in the morning is my education. When I was off school for my Christmas break, I found myself waking up early but being unable to actually get up and do things until a few hours later. Staring blankly at the ceiling. Contemplating life.

Maybe about 3 months ago I began listening to a British band, which goes by the name of “Bring Me The Horizon.” I connected so deeply with some of the songs that they brought tears to my eyes whenever I listened to them. As I got into BMTH more and more, I found myself becoming a lot more calmer and, well, okay. I just needed something to take my mind off all of my worries. “That’s The Spirit” is their newest album, and the first one I bought. Car journeys and laying in bed at 10am unable to force myself to get up suddenly became a lot more chill. I started singing along, tapping my feet, headbanging… It was the happiest I’ve been for a while. A while ago I also got “Sempiternal,” another album by BMTH, and the same can be said for that album. While I’m not 100% okay, and I won’t be for a while, I certainly feel better when my mind is occupied by music I love.

This drawing is inspired by the album art of “That’s The Spirit.” The little pastel-coloured lyric booklet was 2aesthetic5me.
If you wanna get an idea of the album art, it's here: sta.sh/0335x3auok

Sempiternal: www.youtube.com/watch?v=j95zeF…
That's The Spirit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pul_0I…

If you read the whole thing, you deserve a pat on the back. Thanks.